Obama: The Fi(r)st (and) Gay(est) President!

In the wake of Obama's announcement officially supporting gay marriage, a fire has been lit beneath the collective asses of what I call The Community, and its name is Manlove. My first instinct, like at least 53% of Americans, was to say "about time!", but not because I've ever in any way felt he owed it to anybody to support gay marriage. No folks, I said "about time" because he'd spent the three days prior trying to dodge the question like it was a batting machine possessed by Satan himself. It's nice to hear a president actually speak his mind on something, because anybody who's paid attention to Obama's words and official actions would see that he clearly supports equal rights for GLBT. That isn't the issue. The issue, apparently, is with Obama taking his sweet old time doing it.

Unfortunately, I can't join in with the chorus of rainbow-trousered men and women who are now cheering him like he's the second coming of Judy Garland, and especially not after the last three years where so many people have been shoving themselves up Obama's posterior because he hasn't been moving fast enough for them. You want to take a megaphone and shout at the top of your lungs to remind people that television's first on-air lesbian kiss took place a mere nine years ago between Willow and Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer (incidentally, I also seem to remember The Community getting up in arms after Joss Whedon killed Tara off just one season later, as if he'd suddenly decided that he didn't like the character after all and felt God demanded her televised sacrifice). What The Community appears to have forgotten, in my estimation, is that Obama has found himself in one of the worst positions of any sitting president since FDR in 1933: an economy in shambles, two major wars to clean up after, a Congress that can't even agree that Charmin is better than Quilted Northern (it is), and-- let's not forget-- the Gulf Oil Spill. The man has had a hell of a lot on his plate, I think we can cut him a little slack for taking his time getting around to the GLBT issue. But, with that said, he did repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell in spite of a toilet paper-snob Congress. Considering George W. Bush spent eight years bitch slapping The Community time and time again like they owed him child support, I don't think Obama taking a little time to come to a final decision on the gay marriage question should have received as much shit as it has.

By the way, here's a picture:

I'll continue this later. Chew on this a while. Just be sure to swallow. It's polite.

So here we are, ladies and germs. New blog. New rules. New fonts for yours truly to get accustomed to. They say the English language is supposed to be fluid, that it ebbs and flows like a river. Always changing. I'm skeptical of that. Sure, you add little bits and pieces on as the years go by, but buying a new set of drapes every now and then doesn't give you a whole new house. What we're seeing now is the uprising of a diseased, flipper baby cousin of the King's English, and its name is Txt. It disturbs me, the thought that one day all communication may be reduced to "hey how r u mom iz bng a bitch wont lt me go out lol". I myself probably fall into the category of a young troglodyte who refuses to adjust to a new world. Bullshit. Well, let's say ponyshit for the sake of not making the pile any bigger than it has to be. To be the one guy abstaining from drinking the kool-aid doesn't make you any less of a believer than jumping off a bridge because your friend says you'll fly if you do. My mission statement for this blog is to gripe and whine to my heart's content about a world that deems itself obsolete every ten minutes, and to hopefully establish a rapport with those of you who aren't quite as impressed with the size of Steve Jobs's rigor-mortised cock as the rest of the world. Whether you agree, disagree, or think I'm some nutjob picking and choosing which parts of technology I actually enjoy while putting the rest down, I'd love to spend a little time in the ring with you.

Ding ding.