So here we are, ladies and germs. New blog. New rules. New fonts for yours truly to get accustomed to. They say the English language is supposed to be fluid, that it ebbs and flows like a river. Always changing. I'm skeptical of that. Sure, you add little bits and pieces on as the years go by, but buying a new set of drapes every now and then doesn't give you a whole new house. What we're seeing now is the uprising of a diseased, flipper baby cousin of the King's English, and its name is Txt. It disturbs me, the thought that one day all communication may be reduced to "hey how r u mom iz bng a bitch wont lt me go out lol". I myself probably fall into the category of a young troglodyte who refuses to adjust to a new world. Bullshit. Well, let's say ponyshit for the sake of not making the pile any bigger than it has to be. To be the one guy abstaining from drinking the kool-aid doesn't make you any less of a believer than jumping off a bridge because your friend says you'll fly if you do. My mission statement for this blog is to gripe and whine to my heart's content about a world that deems itself obsolete every ten minutes, and to hopefully establish a rapport with those of you who aren't quite as impressed with the size of Steve Jobs's rigor-mortised cock as the rest of the world. Whether you agree, disagree, or think I'm some nutjob picking and choosing which parts of technology I actually enjoy while putting the rest down, I'd love to spend a little time in the ring with you.

Ding ding.